Sometimes I find that, no matter how hard I work to be clear and authentic, someone misinterprets my intentions.
I find that really hard not to take personally and get all emotional about – because I so passionately believe in the things that I’m working on!
So to remind myself that I need to trust my heart and that I shouldn’t give up, I’ve posted the following poem on my wall. I thought I’d share it, in case anyone else out there gets discouraged sometimes – or feels like it’s just too hard!!
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
…Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of self ulterior motives;
…Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
…Succeed anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
…Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow;
…Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
…Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
There will always be someone who doesn’t really know me, who doesn’t trust me, who has had bad experiences, who is afraid, or who doesn’t understand what I’m trying to do. That is no fault of mine and no fault of theirs – it’s just part of our human experience!
I have to learn to trust that feeling inside that is like my internal compass. Regardless of the outside feedback, I know when I’m doing the right stuff for the right reasons – and trusting that feeling always points me in the right direction!
Obviously, this is a lesson I still need to learn, so I can see the criticism that I sometimes face as a gift that forces me to stand up and learn to have unshakeable trust in myself!
Great post.
C/
Heidi,
Your post made me think quite a bit.
I intentionally create spaces where I am able to hear my inner voice. I deliberately work on developing the courage to follow the direction in which it guides me.
On the other hand, we’ve seen 8 years of a President who listens to his ‘gut’, has unshakeable trust in himself, and does not listen to others…it has been disastrous for the US.
So where does that leave us?
Maybe it’s about balance. We listen to our hearts AND we listen to others. We navigate our lives by paying attention to what is going on inside us and outside us.
There are times we stand our ground, times we step back, and times we blend with others.
Very thought provoking post. Thank you.
pete
Hi Pete,
You’re right that we have to watch out for the extremes – I don’t think we should ever shut out all feedback in favor of doing what we want/feel!
I had to think a bit more about what I was talking about in this post. For me, I’ve had to learn that not having 100% approval is okay – and that doesn’t have to translate into feelings of failure.
I’ve noticed that I can be zooming along, getting things done, have positive feedback, moving forward – but when I run into even one person who says “you don’t know what you’re doing”, it could be just crushing! It’s hard for me not to take that to heart and take that as the truth, rather than trust my own instincts.
Even when I feel criticism is harsh, I always take time with it to think, turn it around a few times and look for the seed of truth within the comments. Most often, there is a basis for another person’s complaints or upset – and therefore there’s something I can learn about being clearer, or being aware of how I come across, or a point of view I hadn’t considered before.
If I dismiss that comment as malicious and ignore it – I would have often lost out on opportunities to learn about myself!
The catch to that approach (and what I wrote this post about) is that sometimes, it’s straight out criticism or someone who has their own issues that they’re reacting to or someone who doesn’t know me or understand what I’m doing.
And it’s in those cases that I have to learn to let that go and trust myself.
Thanks for your comments and for making me think some more!
Heidi
Thanks for sharing this post. It is nice to meet people who may be kindred spirits.